I've reached a point in my life where I really wished I could change my past, being more courageous and not such a small minded nincompoop. Every day I feel like I have these goals in my life and if I accomplish this goal it will make my life happier, there are many of that I've had for years now and I've accomplished none of them.
Good jobs, ladies (oh yeah.), education, and my walk with Christ. Sadly, the walk with Christ is almost always the last option I try to work on.
I am a twenty-five year old man-child who expects things to work for him, I get close to any one of the selections above and crumble by doing or saying something ridiculous, or having the wrong intentions. I'm hurt, I'm lonely, and instead of talking with Christ I'd rather talk with someone I can see like they'd have a magical answer that will fix my life.
Every situation I get myself in to I feel inferior, I can pretend that I'm not, but that's just acting, and dadgummit I should get an Oscar for that sometimes.
So I guess my prayer for today is to find true joy in the things God gives me, and to stop feeling sorry for myself.
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